Monday, August 29, 2005

Well, I haven't posted in quite a while, and what better way to kick off a new post than by bashing everyone and their dog from the MTV VMA's last night! God I am such a celebrity whore. And I LOVES IT.

First of all, WHAT the hell is Jessica Simpson's problem? Under normal circumstances she looks like a wax figurine at Madame Tussaud's, so why further the heinousness by wearing what appears to be a slashed nightgown and shorts? And the hair! Don't even get me started. My theory is that her fugly sister Ashlee begged her to be the ugly twin for a night.

Gwen, gwen, gwen....I love you. I really do. But why do you insist on showing up EVERYWHERE with that stark white, yanked back hair, red lips man in drag thing going on?! It's disturbing sometimes. You're too cute for that. I think Gwen was very sad last night because apparently the VMAs did not ask her to perform even though she was nominated for 6 awards - what a bunch of assholes!

But Gwen should not have publically expressed her upset over this before the awards because she got her ass robbed by none other than Dwarfugly Clarkson. Yes, Miss Clarkson won best female video and...something else, but by this time I was so shocked I wasn't paying attention. I wish I had a picture of Kelly Clarkson from last night, but I fear that no photo could accurately describe the horror this girl inflicted on my ears and eyes throughout the night. I am still having flashbacks.

No review of...well, anything, would be complete without a good old fashioned Hohan bashing. There is something very "little girl in mama's clothes" about her. Maybe it's that her body growth has been severely stunted by her love of the 8-balls? I also wish I had a picture of this bitch when she presented, because she changed into another even more disastrous dress with these freaky beige mesh bell sleeves. WHO wears mesh bell sleeves? Unless you're a competitive figure skater there is no excuse for that. More photos to come hopefully.


Blogger Michael K said...

More photos! HoHan looks hot for HoHan!

10:17 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

MK!! I don't deserve comments from such a revered and beloved slut :) Loves it!

6:20 AM  

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