Saturday, October 08, 2005

The poet James Frost once said "The world, some say, will end by fire; some say by ice"
Well, Frost left out Hurricanes, Earthquakes, and Tsunamis. Seriously, can a month go by without the earth's crust cracking, the seas parting or the skies falling? I really don't think you can attribute all of this to global warming. I think it's some kind of godly force trying to tell Britney never to reproduce again.
Seriously, though, I feel really sorry for everyone involved in any kind of natural disaster taken place in the last, say, 9 months to a year. I remember one time when I was in the 11th grade, I was lying in my bedroom at our old house in Welland. I was lying on the floor with my head leaning on a blow-up chair (it was 1998 people.). All of a sudden, my fishtank started shaking and then the entire room, and the house. My mom and I were the only ones home but we totally shat ourselves wondering what was going on. It turned out a 5-point-something earthquake had started in Ohio and we were feeling the tip of it (Welland Ontario is, say, a 5 hour drive from Ohio). I remember thinking it was kind of cool because I was stupid and 15 and things like that never happened in Southern Ontario. Now, I know better. Natural disasters are the most random and unstoppable forces we can encounter, I guess. I'd almost rather die at someone's hand than the hand of Mother Nature, because at least then I'd have someone to be mad at. Knock on wood.
Anyway, I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while bitches! I missed you! I have had the most horrible week, and I guess I didn't want to burden you with my girlish bitching. But, it's my blog and I'll tell you what happened. So, Tuesday I'm driving home from work and as I'm going up the giant hill on Victoria Avenue in Vineland (Ontario wine country), Tulip the green ford focus starts chugging and sputtering and can't even make it past 40 KM/hr....Anyway she finally breaks down. I curse and try to get my cell to work to no avail, but eventually she starts again. So, I go a few more Kilometres before she breaks the shit down again! Some crusty old man whose teeth hadn't seen a brush in what I can only guess is at least 7 years, stops by to (rape and kill) help me. He tells me what the problem is and says to drive it home since I was only a few kilometres from home at that point. So I drive home, then later take it to the garage and tell him what Crusty Dinosaur said was wrong with it. Mechanic gives me a song and fucking dance and tells me it needs this that and the other. He charges me $430 that I don't have for the repairs, and I happily take Tulip back on Thursday morning.
After work Thursday, I had to go to the gym to meet with the nutritionist and then the trainer, and what the hell happens? It breaks down AGAIN - same exact way! I wanted to throw myself under a bus and hope for the best. It was horrible. I had to cancel my training for the week (my trainer probably thinks I'm one of those pathetic people who can't make it past a month!), got no sleep, and the worst part is everyone's gone away for Thanksgiving and I can't even complain to my friends! Emily, god love her, is having sex with her long distance boyfriend who is now home for Turkey day which only makes me more pissed off from envy! Sigh. I digress. My car won't be fixed until after the holiday, and I think the part that is ACTUALLY broken is under warranty so maybe I won't have to pay any more money. Maybe I never had to pay money to begin with. I don't know, but I am a friggin' baby and I can't handle all this stress! Thank the baby jesus it's almost over.
The light at the end of the tunnel is that: Katie Holmes is pregnant with Tom Cruise's alien child. All is right with the Scientological world. Chestica and Nick are/aren't breaking up? Who cares, Nick should dump her ass before she has the chance to make it look like it's her choice! And dump her unceremoniously! But the best news of the week is a tie for: Hohan's near death by car, and the rumour I just heard today that Brit Brit and KFed are over?!?! Does anyone know if there is truth to this?! Oh god I would have a party at that divorce's expense. Fuck ya! Ok bitches again I'm sorry and I shant miss a week again!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sarah, you've got me laughing almost to tears. Not that I can't feel sympathy for you situation, but your post sounds like some old novel written in diary form.

The crusty characters, kilometers instead of miles, and long-distance boyfriend are funny shit. (I am laughing with you, not at you!)

Hang in there. Things will work out.

7:37 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

aww thanks! :) I am feeling 100x better...I was in a bad place last week though! but i'm sure it'll all be okay :)

9:00 PM  
Anonymous luís said...

Hi Sarah! So many bloody disasters, the world is finally coming to an end. Going down for real!!! Here in Brazil we don't have earthquakes, hurricanes, tsunamis,... Gosh, we don't even have snow storms to let us trapped inside our houses. Only some constant rains in the summer and drought in the northeast region. Those are our natural disasters... Oh, I wasn't saying that snow storms are natural disaster, but I think you got me. But I'm a bit confused here about snow, I've never seen a snow flake. Can you believe it? Oh, and I'm laughing here too. You can "girl bitch" whenever you can. It's your fucking riht and your blog too. I know the burden is sad (duh!), but the way you write and tell us is very funny. No sex for you, only for your friend? Hahaha! How is that possible? You're such a nice lovely (and cute) girl!!!! Hehehe! Great you cameback because I was missing you!
Muito amor, beijos e tudo de bom!

11:51 PM  
Anonymous luís said...

And I was thinking of buying a Ford Focus. I think I'll buy another car.
Beijo grande

11:53 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

haha luis you crack me up. I am amazed when people tell me they've never seen snow...i WISH! hehe...but i guess the snow makes me appreciate summer that much more...

9:59 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sarah, you should do a "What's Hot In Canada" post every week or so. There is so little printed about you guys down here! We get occassional blips about melting polar caps, hockey, beer, and Quebec splitting-up.

You must have some celebs, etc?

It would be really fun to read!

12:26 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

haha ok I'll give it a shot! i was thinking about canadian idol post was a start..i'll have to continue it as a series!

12:53 PM  

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