Thursday, October 13, 2005

Source: click the photo. i suck at anything HTML related.

Ok, I wouldn't have believed this shit if I haven't read it online. Because, y'know, everything you read online is true. Wait, it isn't? WHAT THE?!

You know, sometimes we lose things here and there — a key, the toll slip on the interstate (damn!), our wallet (double damn!). But the U.S. military — they’ve one-upped us by losing some armed attack dolphins. Apparently 36 of the U.S. Navy’s trained cetaceans have gone missing in the Gulf of Mexico, could be wearing special harnesses carrying “toxic dart” guns (can’t be good), and have been trained to shoot at divers in wetsuits simulating terrorists in exercises. Their coastal compound was breached during Hurricane Katrina, sweeping many of the mammals out to sea, and though the Navy isn’t confirming it, sources close to naval intelligence confirm that perhaps now is not the time to take that underwater pleasure diving excursion in the Gulf — not that it’s exactly the place to be, anyhow.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hopefully they really are smarter than humans, and are like, "Whooopeeeee, we're outta here!"

And swim off to paradise island.

8:43 PM  
Blogger ffleur said...

I thought there were reports they were all rounded up? Or was that US propaganda? Dolphins are super clever, if they got away they probably dumped the guns on the ocean floor and are happily engaging in dolphin sex.

11:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey ffleur, you're right! They rounded-up the ones that were flooded out of the zoo. They were all still together, swimming off the coast, all banged-up.

I am not a softy, but seeing them happy to see humans, kinda brought a tear to my eye.

The military dolphins are the ones still missing.

6:57 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

i'm still shocked that there are killer dolphins with weapons, something about that is very very unnatural.

9:00 AM  

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